August 19, 2024: A brain dump to get myself writing again.

A mid Yukon Gold Potato of a substack... like a really mid Yukon Gold Potato

It’s been 3 months since I’ve moved to New York. My hair’s longer, my life is larger, and my dreams are expanding. It’s time to write again:

I loved delving into my weighty emotions to learn about myself and connect with other people. I did this through writing and storytelling. But, recently, I’m uninterested in expressing those feelings. Those emotions used to consume a majority of my mind, but now it doesn’t (kind of dope, right?) I feel free. Exploration of my previously unfamiliar, hard-to-decipher emotions through writing now feels more like rumination. I crave forward movement now more than ever.

Side note: *Sometimes I feel like I’m on a mission. 😏

Side side note: *I’ve been using this emoji a lot. 😏😏😏

Side Side Side note: I want my friends and family to know that I’m not averse to conversations around weighty emotions, just disinterested in writing about it right now.

So, I find myself at a crossroads. I love writing, I love storytelling, and I love different modes of self-expression. What do I express about myself now? Life’s simple stuff doesn’t cut it. I want “oomph.”

*Oomph = the fulfillment I gained from writing in the past.

I figured that I might find a path to semi-public self-expression again by starting to simply write something. This itty-bitty potato of a Substack post is just one step to figuring it out. 

🥔 —----------- Brain dump incoming! —--------------- 🥔

The irony is I’m writing about confusion. I guess, the content of this post doesn’t revolve around “negative” confusion, but rather a positive realization that my state of mind has changed so much since college.

I feel like I’ve learned to take care of myself in wildly different environments: Michigan, Taiwan, LA, and now NYC. I experience little flashes, more like zaps, of memories embellished with all-consuming emotions, reminding me that I used to live in a wildly different city, state, or country, just months ago! It feels like my brain is just starting to catch up to what’s been going on. It’ll get there soon enough.

Not sure if any of these thoughts make sense or connect.

🥔—----------- Brain dump concluding! —---------------🥔

P.S.: I just crack up when I see Yukon Gold Potatoes. Some of them are as small as grapes! Makes no sense.